I know the Bible talks about being sad, mourning, getting angry etc. Those are true feelings and I know it is okay to let those emotions flow through me, it is more about what I do when I am angry and so on. But I'm not talking about justified sadness - I'm talking about just feeling upset at the World for no apparent reason! Even through my gloomy outlook I recognized God's hand in my life, smoothing out some of the bumps and wrinkles I was making along the way. Why couldn't I feel joyful about that?
Hebrews 12:5 says:
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
So, when I examine my own behavior last week, according to this verse, I am ashamed. When people around me asked me how it was going I would give a listless answer about being tired or dealing with troublesome kiddos. Even though God had given me plenty of little blessings along the way that I could have talked about, I never once chose to give a joyful answer. My actions were not a very good witness for the God I love!
I guess my question is: is it wrong to feel down and out for no particular reason? Because I seem to go through these slumps where I feel upset and unhappy for no real reason at all. I'm not saying I want to...who would want to trade peace, contentment, and joy for sadness, depression, and restlessness!? But it seems I do sometimes, and I can't figure out why. The only answer I could come up with to explain my doom and gloom attitude was that the enemy was trying to interrupt the content satisfaction I was feeling about my life with God right now, and I'm sad to say that I let him!
1 Peter 5:8-9 says:
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith...
Next time that restless sadness begins to creep into my mind I will be more aware of what is happening (and who is behind it) and ask God for supporters to help me overcome myself!
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